How to Be Me

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Why do our need to be authentic and our need to adapt to others tear us in opposite directions?

We want to be mindful of our needs, yet not to be selfish. We want to be useful to others, yet not sacrifice ourselves. We want to be free and independent, but we also long for closeness and connection. We want to be ourselves, yet we fear that we will not be accepted as who we are.

Being ourselves can feel like a constant balancing act between competing needs. How to Be Me makes these deeply human tensions concrete and helps us understand what lies beneath them.

We may try to push these tensions away or resolve them one-sidedly by focusing on only one side. This does not work. Our authentic self does not emerge by centering everything around ourselves, nor by disappearing into the needs of others—but by learning to live within the tension between the two.

This book does not offer ready-made answers. Instead, it creates space and provides tools to explore how to be ourselves—and how to help others do the same. As we learn to hold our inner contradictions with care, we realize that we do not have to choose between abandoning ourselves or losing others.

The beauty of who we are emerges with others, not despite them.

Materials

English sample
Finnish edition