I Wasn’t There

Ida Pimenoff (b. 1977) is a writer, artist, and photographer who has previously previously published three photography monographs with a German art house publisher. Having exhibited her photography in Finland, France, Germany, and the UK, I Wasn’t There (WSOY, 2021) is Ida’s debut novel. She currently lives Helsinki with her family.

Material

Finnish edition
English sample translation 89 pp
Synopsis
Author letter

Reviews

“Though Pimenoff writes about pain and other unthinkable things, the scope of her writing is vast because beneath Vera’s emotions there is more to her story. The other Vera, the one who has got a good job, established a good grounding, and avoided talking about some aspects of her past, starts to emerge along the way. Walking along the edge of an abyss is difficult, because falling is always a possibility. But if you are always ready to fall to the bottom, you won’t be hit with the same feelings again. Establishing new relationships and habits has its own difficulties, and this novel speaks skilfully about these things, too. If there is no time or desire for self-examination, you’re already on your way to a crisis. This book reminds us that you can always start afresh, just as long as you are willing to confront your own demons first.” — Mari Viertola, Turun Sanomat newspaper

“I WASN’T THERE is a novel about people’s backgrounds, life beyond what is represented in photographs, and the power of perspectives within relationships… The stigma of having a child out of wedlock has dissipated within the last century but the same cannot be said of the experience of fatherlessness. In her youth, Vera’s mother decided not to have an abortion and Sakari never forgave her. Can a man reject an accidental child that he never wanted to have? That’s one of the novel’s central questions. Another of its question relates to the importance we place on blood relations: how does your offspring become your child?… The 20th century philosopher Hannah Arendt’s words ‘freedom is the ability to start over’ are what carry the characters forwards. Exploring the depths of grief, Pimenoff’s debut novel takes on a life that is both contradictory and open to interpretation. In it, life and love seem to be about letting go rather than holding on.” — Mervi Kantokorpi, Helsingin Sanomat newspaper

“The novel is full of open questions. Rejected time and time again, Vera experiences a mixture of insecurity, shame, sadness, and emptiness which at times feels downright cosmic. The motions tied up in divorce are described brilliantly…the narrative style is controlled and profound… As a debut novel, I WASN’T THERE is skilfully written and leave me expecting more great things from Pimenoff.” — Eija Komu, Karjalainen newspaper

“Talented debut novelist Ida Pimenoff explores themes of fatherlessness and love from many angles and through multiple generations. Pimenoff’s realistic, insightful novel echoes a voice speaking from personal experience.” — Me Naiset magazine

“Pimenoff’s career as a photographer shines through in her narrative technique. This book’s narrative does not follow a chronological structure and Pimenoff leaves it to the reader to arrange the fragments of Vera’s life as through we are curating an exhibition. The reasons for Vera’s actions and feelings are not crystal clear; as indeed they are not in real life. As such the novel avoids the over-the-top dramatisation that easily seeps into this kind of novel. I believe this novel will speak to anyone who has ever dealt with an absent father or a complicated family set up, but it really does contain something for everyone.” — Anun ihmeelliset matkat literary blog

“The author could psychologically analyse Vera’s relationships with men based on her relationship but her father, but she leaves this to the reader… An exceptional, beautifully sincere, and affecting book that, despite its sadness, sides with love, happiness, and hope. In fact, it sides with humanity.” —  Kulttuuri kukoistaa literary blog